Art of Saying ‘NO’

 

“Om Gan Ganapataye Namo NamahShree Siddhi Vinayak Namo NamahAshtavinayak Namo NamahGanapati Bappa Moraya”

A Door bell rang on the Sunday morning in three storey building. A building in which Mr. Rajesh Varma was living. The Youngest & naughtiest member of the Varma family, Dips opened the Door,

Voice Came “बेटी, पापा घर पर है..?”,..Dips adjusting her doll in her hand and giving a strange look to the Person standing outside the flat. She turned and also gave a question mark look to her Daddy, Rajesh Varma, who was giving some signal to her daughter, Deepali, Dips said , “Papa …mmmmmmm..????..Papa ne bola hai Vo ghar par nahi hai”...

Unknown person jiggled.

Rajesh felt embarrassment as his daughter proved that she cannot lie to anyone. Rajesh rapidly came near to entrance and said to the person,” Areyy Shrikant..Aaj mera aana possible nahi hai..aap continue karo”. Rajesh said No to bicycling activity which their apartment people were doing on every Sunday.

Shrikant without wasting time..said , “ Bhaiyaji..aisa sab karne ki koi jarurrat nahi thi…just bol dete nahi aa sakta ..thats it”..Aapne befizul uss naadan bachhi se bhi jhute bulva diya..”

Rajesh Said,” Yaar Mujhe laga tum logo ko Bura lagega”…Shrikant replied with irritation and on childish behavior of Rajesh , “Directky bolte to bura nahi lagta..but aisa sab kiya to bura laga”…aisa laga You don’t want to see us”.

Koi gal nahi…  “ Chalo Enjoy Sunday”.

Rajesh without making eye contact said, Thanks.
I am quite confident that this type of situation has been faced by many of us..May be in Daily life or in working Life..where you intentionally said NO by different medium like on phone, not responded phone call, telling by someone as it happened in above case.

It is not that only people are facing this issue in their Daily Life... Even in Corporate or Professional Life also People are facing problem of ‘SAYING NO’.

In My Training Workshops, I do conduct Training Programs on “ART of SAYING NO” where I do train people that ‘how they can say NO’. Because for Indians it become very tough to say NO.

Before We learn How to say No, just first understand Why People cannot say NO directly:

1. Don’t have habit of listening NO..so how they can say NO
   Ex: Mujhe koi mana (NO) nahi karta to mai kaise kisi ko mana kar sakta hu.
2. Mind Says, “ If We say NO..Other Person feel bad”
3. If I say No, “What about My Image”
4. Already Committed then how can I say NO by myself
5. If I Say No, People will think…@#$%^&**(Means Any vivid thought which will come in your mind at that time)
   Ex: If you don’t want to go to Movie with your friends due to some reasons and your friends are forcing to join them. You cannot say no because If You say No, That mean you are not social enjoyable animal.

Implications of Not saying NO:
Let me share you first, If You are not saying NO to that activity which you don’t want to do. Actually You are making your Life more TOUGH & difficult. Means if You agree to the things which you don’t want to do…You will not be present in that activity or occasion whole heartedly. Means Your Body will be present in Movie hall but Your heart will be at your home.

For Enjoying Life..Always apply KISS Approach….hmmmm ‘No other thoughts Please’…
KISS means ‘Keep It Simple & Sweet’. Say NO which You don’t want to do. The question comes here How to say NO..?

How to Say NO:
With Lot many ways you can say “NO” .We can say in a gentle, respectful, and courteous manner. Remember, Keeping your “NO” brief, polite, and fairly straight.. usually works best. Personal and social situations may require different approaches than work situations; here are some suggestions on how to do well at saying ‘NO’:

1. Practice Saying NO: In Social plus Professional Life, before saying NO, practice in person that how can you will say NO so that it will not change the thinking of Yours…why I am saying this because, People when say NO they feel that They really did a big mistake. Take it Easy. Sometimes You have to say NO, because You cannot make Happy to Each & Everyone..And if You are doing so..You are actually hurting yourself.
2. Identify the Resourceful Reasons: While Saying NO, don’t apologies for it. You didn’t do any mistake. You are just saying NO due to some concrete & Resourceful reasons. Why I am Saying Concrete & Resourceful Reason, because if You are saying NO to anything, You must have lots of YES in Your mind for other thing which you are planning to do at that time.
   Ex: If You are saying NO to Competition which is going to be organized in college, you have to identify the ‘WHY’.. You are doing so..?
   
   Identify the Reasons:
   Reason 1: If You feel scared and don’t want to do mistakes, You are stopping Your Progress. ..at this Point, you may think of saying NO but I will say YES
   Reason 2: If you have taken Doctor’s appointment for your grand-ma. Then I think, we should say NO, Because Competition will also come in future but your Grand-ma’s Health..???Now I am giving you complete freedom to bring out maximum Resourceful Reasons before saying NO and you only have to decide. No body will decide on behalf of you.
3. Say Nicely & Confidently: I have seen when people are saying NO, their facial expression looks like they are saying NO to Person who are asking for their Kidneys…
   Don’t have to be serious, just cool and calm, have a fantastic smile on face and say “NO, Thanks Dear”..I am not interested..may be next time We can work out. You should not FEEL & LOOK like, you are doing mistake by saying NO. Remember, you feel, that You are doing MISTAKE only if You don’t have Resourceful & Concrete reasons as I have mentioned in step 2.
4. Give Small Explanations’ of your other plan: This step or action works more in professional life. If You are saying NO to Your Boss for the New Project which Your Boss are going to assign you, Brief him about the current status of Your Work/Time/Project/responsibilities. Then only Your Boss get to know about your work load. Since He/She is also a Human Being, they will understand your concerns.
5. Be Open & Be Honest with Yourself: If you don’t want to think some vague thoughts after saying NO, the only thing which you have to keep in your mind that You will be open & honest to yourself. If you say NO for right reasons (according to your mind), then you don’t have to think after saying NO.
   Ex: This is very Risky example, I am quoting here..Yes Friends, I am giving example of Marriage…

If you come from office after attending a serious meeting or serious discussions, and after reaching at your home, Your spouse are asking for outing. But you don’t want to go out because  You have brought Your office via your mind at home. Just Say NO to Your Spouse and ask  for sharp 15 Mints.

Take a Break and think How much worst you can think in that 15 mints. After 15 Mints,Be genuinely listen to your spouse or do whatever you wanted to do. Because It will help you to decrease your mental pressure, temperature etc rapidly.

Friends My Message is Simple, “If You want to PROGRESS in your LIFE..Don’t make all efforts to SATISFY EACH & EVERY ONE in your surroundings”. Just Be FOCUSSED on your Life.
It will help you to take out a Sweet Juice of Your Life.

Remember friends, I am not saying that You Should be Self-Centered…In fact Human Beings are social animal. But “Animal at what Cost”. what I intend to say is “PRIORATIZE YOUR OPTIONS/WORK through which You can give justice to Your Passion, Life, Family and Nation at large. Saying NO in a good manner, will help you to make your life more easy & without complications.”

Stay Focused …Stay Healthy.

I know We all are saying YES to LIFE because WE have lots of Strong Reasons to LIVE BEAUTIFUL LIFE.
Your Greatest Fan..
Manish Upadhyay.

Posted in: Motivation